I need to change my lifestyle...

Hello fuckettes. I had an epiphany the other day. I realized that I need to get my shit together. My birthday is just around the bend Jan 9th to be exact. I'll be 26! Can you believe it?? I'm fucking 26! I know all you old bitches are like "whatever I'm like a thousand years old...don't be complaining" but I'm not complaining that I'm old. I know I'm still young. Its just that I'm starting to feel my innocent youth slip away and I need to become that responsible adult that my parents want me to be. I look at myself and realize that I have nothing to show. Its sad but true.

You know what I find especially difficult in all of this is the fact that when growing up I was considered the most promising success story. So many people believed in me and thought that I can really go far. The even sadder part is that a lot of people still do and I feel like i haven't been proactive enough to make it happen. So you ask "so beRONce why the hell haven't you taken advantage of your God given talents???" and my only shameful answer to that is "I don't know" its like I've been bumming around for the past, I don't know 7 years figuring out what I want to do with my life. I mean its silly, for those few of you out there that really really know me. You guys know that all I've ever wanted to do was be a singer but not just a singer a MULTI MEDIA POP PHENOM! A big goal?? of course. Impossible?? never. no matter how cheesy that cliche. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. Especially when you know you were chosen as the lucky few with the gifts that the "greater one" has blessed me with. Even though I go up on this thing and bitch about not having money, losing weight and wishing i looked like an anorexic brazilian supermodel. I have sooo many talents that people would die for. So don't get me wrong. I'M BLESSED more than blessed LUCKY. Yet I sit around and mope about not being able to use them. Why? again, I don't know. I've tried to pinpoint the dilemma down to my self-esteem. For those of you that don't know. I was quite the outcast growing up, well obviously. For a good 1/2 of my life I was a mute. Withdrawn from society and never wanted to include myself into the basics of what it meant to be a young person. I was joked. Laughed at and humiliated by my peers simply b/c I was different. Left alone on my own somberness to wipe away my own tears. Its hard to believe that I was a mute considering that I'm such an attention whore now and all up in other peoples faces and forcing them to take me as I am, but believe it cuz i was.

You know I was watching the biggest loser finale and I couldn't believe how losing weight can COMPLETELY change the way you look. Seriously. the last three finalists were like hot. I couldn't believe how good they looked. Shit I was inspired enough to even try my hand at applying for that fucking show. But i read in the stipulations that I have to live in the US. But I'm an American citizen so I don't how thats going to work. But I might go ahead and apply and see what happens. Wouldn't that be great if I had the opportunity to broadcast to the world my transformation into the next supermodel! it would be fabulous. haha

So as a slap in the face to my supposed "lifestyle change" I went out this weekend. But before the festivities began I had to work at MAC at their whatever "celebrity infested" event to promote VIVA GLAM XI. It was so lame. freakin 1 or 2 real celebs actually showed up. MTV even came to cover the event. I feel sorry for the editing people from MTV cuz its going to be a hard job trying to make it look poppin. anyway here is the glamourous look that I did on myself for the big show.


Cute eh? Well I like it.

Here are more pics of the festivities......

Here is a video that I took at the event of Miss Mikee acting like a faggoty fool. I don't know how to rotate the video to be right side up so bear with me but its funny none the less..I love it!


anyway after the big event I went out with my friend Ciara again and finally met her very elusive fiance Kirk and a few of her friends. We met at this Italian restaurant at Greenbelt called Grappas. It was funny cuz I went right after work so I looked like a big ole' drag queen when I went there. Oh well this is them...



Ok so later that night i met up with my gay pal Art and met up with his friend Neil and her cousin and his friends. We met up with them at this bar in rockwell called Gorilla something...i forgot. Then we went to Cuisine then had a late dinner/early breakfast at this 24 hour chinese noodle joint called Next door. I didn't take many pics but here's a pic of Neil, Art and I at that Gorilla place...

anyway, thats it for now. The next time I have a nervous breakdown, incredibly joyous, or have another event or late night rendevous I'll make sure you all know. Keep reading betches! love ya. toodles!