The 2-0-0-7 beta watch out!

For real Fuckettes. I ain't playin this year. The 06' was aiight but it wasn't my year to shine but it definitely was the year of a lot of firsts. It was the year that I made my big move to Makati. It was the year that I met so many awesome people and friends. It was the year that I started a business wit my girl Chi. It was the year that I got a feel of the makeup industry here in the PI. But now that I know a bit more and given the right opportunity ya'lll better recognize that I'm gonna crush erybody down that tries to get in my way or hold me back from what I was born to do. Got it? Get it? Good.

So i know I've been totally neglecting your asses for the past two weeks or so. I've just been so busy and when I headed down south to Davao it seemed that the internet connections there suck even more then here in the big city.

So...its the new year. I can't believe it. I'm optimistic.

so to break the new year in I shared it with my girl Maria.

Maria on the left, her sis sanya and Moi

It was a strange New Year I'd have to say. I swear it was like next to impossible to find anyone willing to go out and party with cuz either they stayed home with their families or they all traveled somewhere out of town to go somewhere more fabulous. I knew I could rely on my girl Maria to be out and about with erybody partayin. So I seriously only knew her but after the night was up I met like 100 more people. Thats the great thing about Manila its so easy to meet new people. Surprisingly I didn't get drunk. I mean I had a few drinks but I didn't get drunk a little happy but far from drunk. So I started the night off completely skeptical and unsure of everything at M cafe. I didn't arrive until around 3am. I was honeslty about to not go out so i took a little nap waiting for another friend to call but never did until the next morning (eh hem Carl...)and I told myself that I can't spend new years sleeping so I took a gamble and met up with Maria.

At first the crowd was really lame cuz I knew absolutely no one. But the more Maria introduced me to more people the more comfortable I felt. Its just that everyone was drunk as shit except for me. So after I met like 20 people there we all decided to head out to Temple in Greenbelt 2. I honestly think that the crowd was the most popping there cuz they were playing hiphop and there were some hot guys. But it was so fuckin claustrophobic. I could hardly move and everyone thats seen me dance knows that i need some space to show off my janet jackson moves. So we left went back to M Cafe to meet up with Maria's sisters then we headed off to the Rockwell Event.

It was a bit lame. A lot of really young people that kinda just stood around and did nothing. There was an interesting makeout session between these two guys on the street though. One was obviously gay, anyone that wears fuckin layers with a blazer on top in a tropical country like the Philippines is thinkin way to hard to be cute and is obviously gay considering that the party was outside WTF! I think the guy he was making out with was some straight guy that was either bicurious or so drunk he thought he was making out with a hot chick. Shit I should have took a pic and posted it up on here haha.

Oh my gosh, someone actually came up to me and asked "aren't you that fabulous makeup artist" and i was like "yeah, i guess" haha...too funny. Apparently she saw me at the MEGA magazine offices or something. Either way its fabulous that all my hardwork is starting to work.

So we got bored cuz the crowd was a bit too young and the music sucked shit so we headed to the Fort and finished the night off at my fav bar in the Third World Piedre. We danced and frolicked into the wee hours of the morn 7:30am to be exact. Let me just say, i have never partied that late with that many strangers completely sober in my life. It was fun though.

So anyway...

I went to Davao for Xmas


I had to get my dose of the family. I was missing my parents and my dad just came in from the States so it was nice to see him. I haven't seen him for more than a year. As for my brother....ummm thats another story. Whatever.

so it was nice to be back with the family and I actually missed the laid back atmosphere that Davao has and i was seriously craving some provincial fruit. Its so much cheaper there and they have like every fruit thats indegenous to the Philippines. they do call Davao the "fruit bowl" of the Philippines now..

Thats my Auntie Gingging getting us some of those fabulous fruits


Ah the Christmas spirit bursting from the seams the moment I walked in the door..

it was nice for once to know that you have family that loves you. It kinda gets lonely when you're living by yourself in a big city.

Anyway, here are more pics from my holiday season...

While I was there I actually went to this bar called POPS. Its the "new" "In" place to be in Davao. I thought it was funny actually to see Davao try to open up a "chic" club. But hey, they're trying. So I went there with my Cousin YanYan's girlfriend Sarah and I met up with YanYan's co-worker friends or whatever and I've noticed this observation with Filipino guys. When Filipino guys get drunk they get all bicurious or whatever and knowing me I love to fuck with them to see how far they'll actually go. There were these two guys RJ and Ato

that totally seemed like they'd let me suck their dicks if it weren't for their wives/girlfriends present hahaha. Especially that RJ he kept making these sexually ambiguous remarks to me. Cuz if they were truly "straight" they would never play little foreplay game. Cuz God knows if a girl was doing that to me I'd be like "eew" and turn around and try to ignore her. And they gave me their phone numbers and info. Too much! Sorry if you guys are reading this but its true. But you guys are good guys don't worry its okay to be bisexual Ato...but for you RJ, I think you just need to come clean.

Nevermind that I look like Jabba the Hut in this picture, but seriously RJ if you're reading this, wouldn't you say that you're a little too close for comfort??? hmmm...anyway, moving on.

So while in Davao I hung out with my only out gay cousin that still lives in the province of a province. hello, Davao is enough or a province for me but to live in Tagum where its even more provincial is unheard of.

I was there but three days and I was already tired of the fucking fruits and needed my Starbucks. But they don't have a starbucks and I was left with Figaro coffee instead and had these little treats


I swear it takes fucking hours to put one of these posts up. I mean, waiting for the fucking downloading and what not. shit its tiring and I still hav more to post. I'll just post this up for now and I'll finish it later. I'll just give you loyal fuckettes something to read. Enjoy and keep reading fuckette. Toodlesxoxox

Whats that smell?...shit, its the Holidays

Hey hey hey fuckettes. My God where did the time go? It seriously feels like yesterday I was stuffing my face with Lechon and my Lola's Macaroni salad in Davao and its already time to repeat?! What?! I still haven't lost the weight that I gained from the first gorge fest from last Xmas and the one before that and the one before that....shit, you get the picture. Its even harder to realize that its Xmas when you're here in the Philippines cuz the weather is still hot and sticky so I feel like i should be out tanning rather than thinking of gingerbread men and eggnog. But then again Filipinos are all about Xmas. They started decorating and shit in September and whatnot. Apparently it starts when the "ber" months start happening.

So anyway, I'm fine now. Please excuse my psychologically challenged day in my last blog. I hate being pitied but hell. I WANT A MAN damn it!!!! I WANT A MAN I WANT A MAN I WANT A MAN!!!! Like the great Mariah Carey belts out *ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS....YOOOOOUUUU!!!! I've been singing that song my whole life and did I ever get what I want? Of course not! I'm not that lucky. Thats ok in 2007 its on! He's out there I know it. I'm much too good of a catch to pass up. My friends can all vouche for that! Am I right Ladies??? the girls "DAMN RIGHT BERONCE!!" Well thats what I hope they'd say haha. Here's hoping.

So yesterday I finally met my little online pal CARL!!! Haaaaaaeeeeyyy CARL!!!

Ain't he sexy??? But that bitch knows it haha. He had the audacity to request me to put some studio shots of him with his shirt off on this blog! Cuz yes fellas he has a sexy body hahaha. He's probably all embarrassed that I'm saying this on my VERY public blog...actually if you want to see how he looks like embarrassed I took a pictures of that too

So anyway, for those of you that don't know. I've been talking to this bitch for more than a year when I was ULTRA pathetic in Davao. Back in the days when all I did was hang around at internet cafes at the SM in Davao like a pedaphile at a playground. I met him online when I was desperate to find friends and I met him and he was crazy cool. So we've been talking online since then and this was the first time that we met cuz he lives in Riyah in Saudi for work. And everytime he came back to Manila to visit his family and friends I was away somewhere like in the States or Davao. Its funny cuz it feels like I'm talking to a good friend that I've known forever when we finally did meet and it was weird when I realized that I've never met this bitch. it was very natural. So there Carl. Thats what I really thought of you when I met you last night. haha.
Here's another pic of the moment. I was surprised that he was so damn shy to take pics considering on his profile when I met him you'd think his weekend job was as a playgirl model with all those shirtless pics hahaha. Carl you Slut! But then I CAN understand the intimidation b/c he is posing next to me, the #1 Plus Size Supermodel of the World! haha. My lashes were so long in this pic. But it looked cute though.

Can I look any fatter. I'm so doing master cleanse!! But my brows look beat! Thats good.

So thats it for now fuckettes. I'll keep you updated. I think I'm heading to work and help out MAC today. By the way when the fuck does DREAMGIRLS come out here in the Philippines. Probably in like 6 months after it shows in the US. Oh well, i'll just get the pirated copy haha. keep reading!! Toodles xoxo!

Fuck off day. No Makeup No fabulosity No Glamour

My God today was one of those days where I sat home and felt sorry for myself. and I hate feeling sorry for myself. I'm sure most of you know me as the always crazy, outgoing, confident and funny beRONce! But today sooo was not one of those days. I woke up at 2pm watched a depressing movie didn't take a shower, tied my hair back, wore my glasses, with absolutely nothing on my face. Basically i was a hot mess. You know its hard work trying to look fabulously glamourous all the time and believe it or not I get tired and I have those days when I actually just want to blend in the background and not have people gawking at me all the time. The attention is fun dont get me wrong and theres something about the shock factor from people that gets addicting but again, today was not one of those days. Actually the depression was too much. I just wanted to talk with friends about my problems that are going on in my life that I pretty much know all the answers to but I feel the need to just have someone listen to me bitch and maybe get another perspective about it.

You know thats how I know when you're really my friend. Like a REAL friend. Not a "lets get drunk and party" friend. I mean, I love you all and I love entertaining you bitches. But sometimes I need to get real for a moment and just get shit off my chest. Its funny how when sometimes I attempt to get "serious" with some of my "party friends" they don't know how to handle the fact that I too can get depressed and serious. So they never know how to handle it and would rather not hang out with me if I want to talk with them. Most of the time its not like I don't know what to do or I need a lecture. Its more the fact that I just want someone to listen. You know? Cuz honestly I know all the answers to my problems its just nice to know that you have a friend that will take their time to be concerned with whats going on with your life be it good or bad to just sit there and let me babble on and on while maybe giving me constructive and loving critcism or advice. So thank you guys for listening to me tonight. You know who you are! I love you for that. Thanks.

I would probably say on average I have at least one day a month when I have a bit of a breakdown. I think its normal. Everyone needs to have that day when it feels like all your problems have all decided to fall on your ass at the same time and you're tired of being the strong one and just collapse. Even if its just for a day. I'm a strong person that tries everyday to do the damn thang as much as my abilities will allow me but there are those days you just want to curl up and give up cuz its tiring to be strong all the time. Its especially hard when you know you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend to curl up to when these days hit you.

Anyway, today was shit and I just wanted you all to know that. I can be fun, crazy, strong, independent and confident. But I'm also human and I need to cry sometimes. Especially when being who I am (* a too much singing makeup wearing/doing glamour queen) and trying to do the things I'm trying to accomplish (a multi media mogul icon). I love you all and tomorrow I'll be fine. Promise. Toodles bitches!

Doughnuts, Cakes & Glamour...Oh MY!

Hello fuckettes. My God so many things have happened since I last talked to you guys. And its only been a few days. crazy! I know I've been neglecting you, my loyal fuckettes, but at least I have a lot to show.

So anyway, where do I begin? Let me start in chronological order.

Earlier this week my friend/photographer thats helping me out with my portfolio, Carina, took me to this fabulous little hole in the wall Italian restaurant called Amici. She's been telling me about it forever, but we never went. Anyway, its so unassuming cuz its not all that cute visually but let me tell you. The fucking food is sooo good AND super cheap. You can't beat that right? Its run by a bunch of Italian priests that came here like 100 years ago or something.


So my fat ass didn't know what to pick so I got this dish that was totally gluttenous with everything in it. I think the main ingredients were cellulite and triple bypass...but shit, it was crazy tasty




My quasi health conscious vegetarian friend Carina had something a little more humble..but equally tasty. This spinach lasagna thing...

then I just confirmed my triple bypass with a bit of gelato...so good, so good.



So the next morning my ass had to wake up earlier than usual 7:30am to be exact. I had a photoshoot with MEG magazine. Its like this teen fashion magazine here in the Philippines. Kinda like Seventeen or whatever. Anyway, I had sooo much fun. I always have fun during photoshoots. Its sooo not work cuz all you do is make people look cute and chit chat with models, photographers, stylists and just fun people and eat pizza. Here are pics from the shoot...

The concept of the shoot was how to do your makeup to improve your graduating pic for highschool and college and the different things you should focus on to make it look the best it can be. They took a pic of me styling and doing the makeup and they're going to put me in it as well as quotes from me. hooray! how cool eh?

By the way I was in Nov Cosmo too! it was so cool to be in a mag for the first time as a makeup artist. It was a small article but it was cool none the less. i was the "guest makeup artist" for MAC and I did makeovers on some lucky contest COSMO readers. here it is




So slowly yet surely I'm getting myself known out there. Which is good. The MEG issue with me in it isn't hitting the newstand until March though.

Anyway, you know living here in Makati you don't really get to experience the filipno culture too much cuz its so city. But while I went to the less cosmopolitan part of Makati I ran across a street filled with street vendors and I found this..


Its called "quek quek" (i think thats how you spell it) they're essentially deep fried eggs. you can either get 5 deep fried quail eggs or single deep friend "Penoy" ones. Penoy is the early stages of "Bulot" To most Americans Bulot is kinda gross. They're duck eggs with developed chicks inside before the chick hatches they fucking boil the eggs and eat the chick whole. Its gross I know. So gross they even made bitches eat it on Fear Factor. Anyway, Penoy is bulot but its not a developed chick yet but it was a fertilized egg. So when you open it it has veins and shit. Its so gross. So of course I refused not to eat the Penoy one and opted for the quail eggs. Anyway, it tasted exactly what it is a deep fried egg, nothing special. I expected it to be laced with spices or whatever and that bitch tasted just like a fucking crunchy egg. I was disapointed. But hey, it was nice to experience something new. I like doing stuff like that cuz its really something you can't find in the States.

Speaking of food. I went to this restaurant called the Filling Station off of Makati Ave in the middle of all the prostitues and pimps and I had the biggest slice of cake

thats bitchy McBitch Al in the background. He thinks he's Miss Fitness USA now cuz he goes to the gym or whatever. haha he'll be eating cake with me again in no time.

It was cheap as hell too only P80 ($1.60) crazy huh??? Gotta love that exchange rate.

yeah I went with these two snob bitches. AL and ART (look at ART's face...he thinks he's all that)

So the next day as I was forced to fucking walk to Greenbelt to meet some friends for dinner. I had to walk cuz it was next to impossible to find a cab that wasn't try to extort a thousand pesos for a 5 min drive. Anyway, during my impromptu workout I ran in this lively group of protestors.


I don't know what the hell they were protesting but I'm sure it had to do with something about the President. Either way it seems no matter how much these people protest the government still stays shitty. What the hell do they need to do? I don't know. I hate to say that its a lost cause.

You won't believe it but the Philippines finally decided to get progressive and open up you know what???

YES ITS VERY FIRST KRISPY KREME STORE

Finally shit! how late can the Philippines be? Hello the krispy kreme name says it all "since 1937" enough said.




Shit you would think they were giving away free Hermes Birkin bags or whatever..



Damn you Krispy Kreme and your sweet sinful decadence!!!

So after the Krispy Kreme overdose i headed my ass to the Mandarin Oriental where my girls Lani and Jess were having their despedida. They're leaving me here in the third world to fend for myself. First it was Dawnie and now its the last two Aussies!!?? what? Anyway, here are some pics of everyone partying and getting drunk. of course before we all headed out to the one and only club Embassy.

So the partying continues the next day cuz it was my girl Jacq's birthday party at this bar called CITRUS at Glorietta 2. It was so fun!!! We all get fucked up off of Jack Daniels and there was a serious cake fight! It was a sticky situation but definitely a memory that I'll never forget. Check out the pics below...

Shit it was defintely good times. I've never been in an actual food fight but this definitely was a fun one. It was all Will's bright idea. Nice one Will. Anyway, got crazy drunk and partied the remnants of the night at Embassy, of course, where else. Woke up at fuckin 3pm the next day with a wicked hangover and still reaked of cake icing even after a drunken shower when i got home. I met a whole bunch of cool people, Aaron and Justine, the two horny guys Paul and Johannes from Australia, Ava and some other random drunk girls but had to say goodbye to Jess and Lani but maybe Lani will change her mind if she decides to take on a certain project here in the Philippines. I hope so. I love you all and keep reading about my on going craziness that is my life. Love you fuckettes. toodlesxoxox

I need to change my lifestyle...

Hello fuckettes. I had an epiphany the other day. I realized that I need to get my shit together. My birthday is just around the bend Jan 9th to be exact. I'll be 26! Can you believe it?? I'm fucking 26! I know all you old bitches are like "whatever I'm like a thousand years old...don't be complaining" but I'm not complaining that I'm old. I know I'm still young. Its just that I'm starting to feel my innocent youth slip away and I need to become that responsible adult that my parents want me to be. I look at myself and realize that I have nothing to show. Its sad but true.

You know what I find especially difficult in all of this is the fact that when growing up I was considered the most promising success story. So many people believed in me and thought that I can really go far. The even sadder part is that a lot of people still do and I feel like i haven't been proactive enough to make it happen. So you ask "so beRONce why the hell haven't you taken advantage of your God given talents???" and my only shameful answer to that is "I don't know" its like I've been bumming around for the past, I don't know 7 years figuring out what I want to do with my life. I mean its silly, for those few of you out there that really really know me. You guys know that all I've ever wanted to do was be a singer but not just a singer a MULTI MEDIA POP PHENOM! A big goal?? of course. Impossible?? never. no matter how cheesy that cliche. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. Especially when you know you were chosen as the lucky few with the gifts that the "greater one" has blessed me with. Even though I go up on this thing and bitch about not having money, losing weight and wishing i looked like an anorexic brazilian supermodel. I have sooo many talents that people would die for. So don't get me wrong. I'M BLESSED more than blessed LUCKY. Yet I sit around and mope about not being able to use them. Why? again, I don't know. I've tried to pinpoint the dilemma down to my self-esteem. For those of you that don't know. I was quite the outcast growing up, well obviously. For a good 1/2 of my life I was a mute. Withdrawn from society and never wanted to include myself into the basics of what it meant to be a young person. I was joked. Laughed at and humiliated by my peers simply b/c I was different. Left alone on my own somberness to wipe away my own tears. Its hard to believe that I was a mute considering that I'm such an attention whore now and all up in other peoples faces and forcing them to take me as I am, but believe it cuz i was.

You know I was watching the biggest loser finale and I couldn't believe how losing weight can COMPLETELY change the way you look. Seriously. the last three finalists were like hot. I couldn't believe how good they looked. Shit I was inspired enough to even try my hand at applying for that fucking show. But i read in the stipulations that I have to live in the US. But I'm an American citizen so I don't how thats going to work. But I might go ahead and apply and see what happens. Wouldn't that be great if I had the opportunity to broadcast to the world my transformation into the next supermodel! it would be fabulous. haha

So as a slap in the face to my supposed "lifestyle change" I went out this weekend. But before the festivities began I had to work at MAC at their whatever "celebrity infested" event to promote VIVA GLAM XI. It was so lame. freakin 1 or 2 real celebs actually showed up. MTV even came to cover the event. I feel sorry for the editing people from MTV cuz its going to be a hard job trying to make it look poppin. anyway here is the glamourous look that I did on myself for the big show.


Cute eh? Well I like it.

Here are more pics of the festivities......

Here is a video that I took at the event of Miss Mikee acting like a faggoty fool. I don't know how to rotate the video to be right side up so bear with me but its funny none the less..I love it!


anyway after the big event I went out with my friend Ciara again and finally met her very elusive fiance Kirk and a few of her friends. We met at this Italian restaurant at Greenbelt called Grappas. It was funny cuz I went right after work so I looked like a big ole' drag queen when I went there. Oh well this is them...



Ok so later that night i met up with my gay pal Art and met up with his friend Neil and her cousin and his friends. We met up with them at this bar in rockwell called Gorilla something...i forgot. Then we went to Cuisine then had a late dinner/early breakfast at this 24 hour chinese noodle joint called Next door. I didn't take many pics but here's a pic of Neil, Art and I at that Gorilla place...

anyway, thats it for now. The next time I have a nervous breakdown, incredibly joyous, or have another event or late night rendevous I'll make sure you all know. Keep reading betches! love ya. toodles!